“THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT MAKES AN ENDURING MARRIAGES” By Chaplain Zane Mortimer art work by freedom mercado

05 04 2022 By Chaplain Zane Mortimer

There are many reasons why marriages go the way they do… as a man, I can give an

insight for success for the years to come. 1) A man must realize that a successful

enduring marriage takes a lifetime of love and labor as he is the head of the household

and will be held accountable for all things. However, 2) the most important thing for

every man must never forget (and that will be impossible… because) it is your wife that

is the neck that turns the head. * A key is that both of you must be willing to give 100%

of your 50%, to make the marriage run smoothly, especially through the challenging

times which will come from time to time. “As said, a happy wife is a happy life.”

An example: Have you ever slept wrong and woke up with a crick in your neck? If you

have, then you know how easily you can turn your head in the morning … The truth is

you can't do it very easily as the neck is inflamed. So too, it will be with your wife, and

lest you forget, women possess an eidetic memory and, when she is inflamed or

incensed over something... (Don’t worry you will get the understanding sooner or later.)

It is said, an elephant never forgets… Well, that is nothing compared to a wife, you will

see it is not just the elephant that never forgets because in the years to come, even 50

years from now. 1) Your Bride today will remind you of (the thing(s) you said or did

along your journey in life together in the ensuing years to come. So too, the number 2)

thing is to love each other with your whole heart, have faith in each other, and give

100% fidelity to your marriage. The third 3) the most important thing in marriage is that

you both should do for yourself, and for your spouse. Each of you must learn to forgive

each other each day because… ~Psalms 127:1 “Except the LORD build the house, they

labor in vain that build it”… Love, faithfulness, laughter, and forgiveness is a major

component of that process in building your home and life together and God is about

forgiveness and joy. So, let go and move on together. Just realize that you are both

going to get under each other’s skin now and then. Marriage is a commitment of life, just

never give up, but press on, laugh often, and move on in your life together.

As stated, some women will never forget certain things their spouse does or doesn’t do.

Ask your dad about this and he will verify this truth about your mom (she never forgets

unless she chooses to). That in the years to come, rest assured, the things you say, do,

or did today or along the way, your bride today, is your wife in the future and she will

remind you of those things one way or another. By the way, that means “everything”, so

expect it! She will, in fact, be more than willing to demonstrate the incredible memory

she has by reminding you occasionally that everything you say, do, or will do, you will

be held accountable for both the good, the bad, and the ugly in the court of her logic,

activities, relationships, and your marriage

•  
• Also, an insight, 4) That your offspring, the children of your union can be even more

  remindful of all facts as to ‘What you say, do, or have said to them, they will certainly

  remember everything the good, the promise, the maybe and most of all, the bad things

  said to them that hurt their heart. These facts are true and will be the things always

  looming in the background of your marriage until she cogently illuminates them to you,

  as in “We Need to Talk” … So, for some great insights, here are some comments of

  couples that have embraced the great, the good and gone through the tough time in

  their years together facing the issues of their life squarely and learned the keys to a

  successful marriage over their years together.

  Karen D and Dick Argon are currently working on 42 years of a successful

  marriage and life together, by a “What if and WOW”, logic platform, Karen

  has a Ph.D., and Dick is a successful businessman and together they

  have built a wonderful life together.

  In fact, truth be told, states Karen, “I cannot remember a time when we have ever had

  an hour’s disagreement with our understanding and giving place to the other to speak

  our individual thoughts.” Karen’s insight states it this way…

  “Dick would come up with an idea and share it with me… WOW, I would say, but ‘What

  if’ we…? [Add, subtract, change or whatever] “Wow”, he would say, think about this,

  what about on top of that, let’s… change this or do this instead of, or along with…What

  do you think??? … Wow, I would say, Then we can…???

  We could keep on going like this over an idea, want or desire until we had exactly what

  we wanted together. It is amazing how this ‘What if’ has worked for us over the years.

  We have seldom if ever had arguments about things as such. Ideas are brought up all

  the time and we exchange ideas safely knowing that we will work out the details on the

  ‘What if’ platform of our lives together… it is amazing and has transformed our lives

  from two to one cohesively in a bond of love that I have not seen others possess in their

  marriage. In other words, we can say, “What if” has changed our lives, it is amazing and

  wonderful in all respects. It doesn’t mean we don’t have our disagreements, but safely

  we can say… they usually end up in the ‘What if’ of our lives together.

   

  Ron and Linda Ellen have been together for almost 62 years.Linda says

  the key to their successful marriage is … They love each other. That they

  like and respect each other… [you will notice they like each other too…

  that is a key element in the success of their marriage or any marriage.]

  [To find out what that really means do this… Years ago, in the ’60s, Jimmy Stewart

  made a movie called “SHENANDOAH”. In that movie there is a scene where his

  daughter is getting married to a young soldier, and he, as the father, gives the talk and

  he asks the young man: “Do you like her?” The young man says: “Well, I love her!” He

  rebuffs the young man and says, “That’s not what I asked you, I asked, “Do you like

  her?”… he goes on and gives a great answer to the question, Watch the movie you will

be glad you did it has some great insights for family, as well as good entertainment.

value.] Linda goes on and says, “We like and respect each other and have fun.

together which makes every day of our lives together fun with lots of laughs. In addition

to that, every day of our almost 62 years is perfect for us. We never go to bed angry and

will stay up all night until we resolve our differences, it is amazing how exhaustion.

allows one to make compromises. The key here is the “agreement” in that once

compromised and resolved, the issue can never be brought up again, it is settled. Lots

of kisses in front of the kids and when alone, laughter, and compliments given to each

other freely, truthfully, and faithfully.” Ron agrees wholeheartedly… Linda also adds …

“Through it all, we can confidently say that our marriage is a miracle. We have 5

children, 14 grandchildren and 5 of them are married and they have given us 3 great-

grandchildren too. You just cannot get things much better than that, it is worth every

minute of our agreement and disagreement to have the best in life as we have had. We

have worked hard through the years and faced the trials, heartaches, and hardships of

life together. We persevered through the hard times so that now our later years are

favoring us. Every day for us is a blessing and we enjoy our marriage and lives

together.”

John and Nancy Pauole are heading into 46 years and the key to their

marriage is: “That when you and your spouse get into a disagreement,

and it becomes a fight! So that when, it is all said and done. You need to

‘nandey’… ‘to forgive each other, and makeup!”

“So that, when you go to bed together you say, ‘I Love You” to each other. Then talk

with each other heart to heart, come to an understanding of the other’s point of view

about things and really discuss why you are fighting in the first place. Then forgive and

love each other and be best friends always and don’t keep arguing over the same

things. Once it is done, let it stay done.